It does get better

My last post was in June. It has been awhile. Partly it was the herx and partly I just felt quiet about talking about this disease. I was going through a quiet phase. I had my fair share of herx these past few months which mostly was nausea and lots of it. I can honestly say I hate nausea. I didn't mind the nausea when it was following a night of tequila shots but that was also on weekends not every single day, all day long. As of late it has gotten better which is why I am back to blogging (well just one blog really). This past weekend I recieved a phone call from somebody that also has Lyme and felt discouraged and frightened of the treatment. That phone call got me thinking. It seems that there is lots of information on Lyme disease and how horrible it is from Lyme patients but once these Lyme patients get better they get on with their lives and do not continue sharing the other side of Lyme disease. That other side is where 'the good stuff' is. It is absolutely normal once the treatment is over to get on with ones life and put as much distance from this ordeal as possible however I have never been that normal about anything! Taking all these antibiotics does suck. Some of them taste so vile that words do not exist that can explain the taste. It's one of those things that has to be experienced to be understood. The woman that called me this past weekend expressed concern about taking antibiotics. Yes, there are risks with antibiotics. There are risks with a lot of things. The example I have is this- there are risks associated with radiation and chemotherapy for cancer patients but that doesn't mean they do not go into treatment, it does not mean they let the cancer grow. This Lyme bacteria can not be allowed to just grow in my body. It must be stopped. The antibiotics must stop it and stop it they are hence the herx. This is my thinking on my treatment and everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this. I am not completely on the other side of this disease but I am getting there. And from where I am standing it's pretty damn good. The pain gets less and less, the fatigue starts to abate and my memory gets better. The herx by way of nausea, joint pain, headaches and faitigue are worth it. And what's more it's temporary - I will not be sick forever. The antibiotics are working, they just take time. It took the Lyme bacteria years to distroy my body and now it will take awhile for the antibiotics to restore it. I am very lucky- I was diagnosed early enough that my life was not destroyed by it completely. It will just take some time. I have gotten well enough that now I am impatient with my treatment and I want it over and done with. That is a good sign. I now have the energy to be impatient where as a year ago I did not. So, just to repeat again- it does get better. The other side is where 'the good stuff' is and where Lyme disease will be a part of my past not a part of my future. Until next time - stay tick free and toodles for now.

Herx and more herx and more herx

It has been a while since I have blogged about my recovery. Starting from the end of April until today it has been a rollercoaster ride of herx reactions. I had a couple of weeks off from herxing long enough to catch my breathe. The herx reaction I had in April was pure physical pain. My life consisted of me wearing sunglasses in the dark, laying on the coach hating life. My neck specifically hurt so much I could not bare it. Headaches who tough as was the nausea that accompanied it. every joint in my body hurt. The extreme fatigue was demoralizing and scary. I used to have so much energy and was active in my life and now my life is nothing more than fatigue/exhaustion, physical pain and a rollercoaster of emotions - a mostly permanent state of PMS. By mid June I was starting to feel better just in time to start my new round of antibiotics - by that I mean my LLMD changed my meds. When I had my doctor's appointment, my LLMD appologised three times to me about the herx reaction these new meds will put me through. I figured it was going to be more physical pain like in April. Surprise! Surprise! The physical pain was minimal in contrast to the emotional hell I went through. I would spend my days and nights just crying, I would stop long enough to catch my breathe and then came another flood of tears. I was upset about everything. I would not call it a depression because depressed people have a reason to be depressed. I had no reason to be depressed yet I felt so bad. It was an exaggerated pity party with no end in sight. But the end did come, eventually. Now I am over the worst of it - emotionally. Physically my symptoms are subsiding from the herx flare up and I started doing yoga again as of last week. I order from PBS a yoga DVD- Easy Yoga for Easing Pain. My LLMD said it would be okay to try it. I did like it. I used to do an hour and a half of hot yoga before Lyme disease but now that would be a little too ambitious for me. The DVD is about an hour and it was okay. I did not push myself. My muscles were sensitive to it so I took it slowly. It did tire me out and it took a couple of days to regain my strength. I hate being fatigued. I will try to do it twice this week. Increase it by one work out a week. Fatigue sucks because for me it also bring along brain fog. I hate it when my intelligence does not work at the level I like it to. My mind would fire on all cylinders as would my body but now it does not. It frustrates me. It makes me sad. I want my life back. The life that was full of promise and fun not meds and pain. I know I am getting better but I am impatient for this chapter of my life to be closed and I am eager for the good times to begin. Until next time- stay tick free and toodles for now.

Time for some catching up

The new treatment my Lyme Specialist started me on has been uneventful in terms of bad symptoms/reactions. That by no way means I have not made more progress but the progress has not been unpleasant. I have finally found a local doctor (who talks more than I do....and I didn't think that was ever possible) who will treatment me as per my Lyme specialist's protocols. No more getting my antibiotics from online pharmacies. Yippy!

My Lyme doctor also started me on an excercise program. Actually, that was a negotiation. She wanted to send me to the hospital for physio but I thought 'No way am I going to a hosptial unless an ambulance is bringing me there', so I suggested Curves Gym. She agree and off to Curves I went. At first it was a couple of times a week and half the circuit. I am in my third month of Curves and I am going there 3 to 4 times a week doing the circuit twice. My body is getting stronger. My Lyme doc told me that the fastest way to get better is to excercise....excercising keeps the bacteria moving instead of resting and hiding in my body and as it's moving the antibiotics are doing their bit to kill those little buggers off. I do have days were I am tired but those day are fewer and fewer. The solution to that is just going to bed early and that does the trick. Listening to my body has been my biggest lesson learned. It's interesting that we carry around answers to our questions and problems but we are too busy listening to the outside noises of the world and forget to just listen to our inner voice. Our wise inner voice that has the wisdom of Socrates and the unconditional love and innocence of a child. I have learned about going back to basics- that has become my new foundation to built upon.

My Yeast Free Sugar Free Diet is another issue. I stick to it for a bit then I have a cookie or four. At first I would get all mad at myself, then I realized I am human and not perfect. So I stumble and fall, that is okay because as long as I get up I can fight another fight. Here is some info that does help me in keeping myself diet compliant and getting up to fight the fight - 'Lyme bacteria feeds off sugar and yeast and if you eliminate sugar and yeast then you are cutting off their food supply'. I wrote that on a post it and have it posted in my kitchen. Sometimes it helps knowing why doctors ask you to do stuff and follow their orders. I will say one thing- it's easier to follow this diet in the summer time than in the winter time. Winter is about comfort and comfort food. Thank God it's spring.

My next Lyme doc appointment is in early May. I am looking forward it.
Until next time- stay tick free and toodles for now.